avoiding homework

no i am not back in school...  i am supposed to be writing a letter to myself ...  where i am supposed to forgive myself...  not doing so good on that one! in fact just avoiding it all together.  in my defense i have been busy with work, was on vacation, the holidays, etc.  anyways therapy tomorrow - what should i do say -  my dog ate my homework? LOL

still here

i've not been posting as much...  i must be feeling pretty good and i am sure the road back to running has helped me feel more like myself!!  i am still running once a week - now last week i got in an extra day and that was a celebration!  it's going well only having to stop a couple of times when that knee starts feeling funny - not hurting but just feels funny.  it's hard to describe but i listen to it - give it a break for a moment and then start again.  no more racing for me and that's fine.  i am happy just to be moving my body in that familiar way again - it feels great.  other news:  had been a month since last therapy session and i felt like i had so much going on.  going every 2 weeks seems like too much - which is what i am supposed to do.  but when i try to stretch it out cuz i think i'm okay - it seems i have so much to say and feel like i should have come in sooner!!  ha ha that's how it goes i guess.  i am really working hard but i don't think i will ever graduate - as i call it.  but that is not the plan that God has for me.  i have a lifetime of junk in my head that has to come out so it takes a while to purge it all out.

5th run

ran 28 mins yesterday and had a nice walk back.  note i count my runs as minutes rather than distance b/c i can't focus on distance - just that i am moving.  it still feels great - amazing how my breathing has come back so quickly - when i first ran i could not run a block w/o being winded!  one of my friends agrees with me that my gait is kinda like a gimp! and i did do a fart lick too!  great stretch for my legs at the end!

still running

ran 32 mins today - don't know how long i will be able to run but sure enjoy this ride!!

doing okay

med change is complete...  no restless legs again...  and no decline in mood.   so i'm doing okay for now. 

don't know if i mentioned this last time time i met with the therapist she said what would make you happy?  and i said if i could run again....  today i am happy to report that i am trying and up to 20 mins.  some days i'm winded and some days i'm not.   i have had to change my style of course... i  have to do it ever so gingerly and oh how i have missed it!!!!  it's been a year and a half since i ran and so far the 'bad knee' is letting me... where before it would not.  i don't know what's going on but i will enjoy it while it last as i am sure this is only a fleeting moment.  the knee will give out and then i deal with it when it happens...  or maybe God has another plan for me...

loving this...

http://youtu.be/dipFMJckZOM

med decrease progress report

well i am doing well with the med decrease and hope this will help my restless legs and weight gain.  i haven't had the crazies like i thought - you know jumping out of my skin or bawling.  i also had  lab work looks good. my vit d is low but now so low that it needs attention,  i guess.  i will see my nurse practitioner in another week or so and then see.  so for now still okay.  and in other news - my therapist asked me monday 'what would it take for you to happy?'  and i said 'me?' and she laughed and said  'yes you'.  i don't get asked that every day!  i said 'if i could run again.'  even thought i know that's probably not gonna happen i have been trying.  i  ran 3 minutes in the basement for the second time - the first time i tried it it just seemed like something clicked and it was okay.  then  i ran the block on sunday for about a 1/4 of a mile...  no pain.  weird huh?  is my dream possible??  i told my therapist the only way my knee will ever be fixed is is i used and i hurt it then i will get the surgery to fix for ever - so what do i have to lose?