i'm outta there

Well it's over - i did it - i survived.  I cried, said goodbyes,  i cried, laughed and did i mention i cried?  But i made it through the day - when i was done i was just done.  Told the residents i was leaving for vacation and then loved, kissed and cried on the cats and then i just left.  And it was easier walking out of the parking lot than i thought.  I looked back and it was okay.  Even Sarah came by today to say goodbye with tears in her eyes wanting for us to 'stay in touch'  but i just could lie to her and say that i would - she could tell because she said i can tell you don't want too.  I told her i didn't know what she wanted from me because it could never be the same - she hurt me with someone who had hurt me - i told her as long as she was happy that's all i wanted.  She told me that she hates that her  'living her life' was hurting me.  I told her  that it didn't have anything to do with her new 'life'  but it was who she chose to spend it with.  Told her that my husband says i have to stay away from people who hurt me and i know he's right.  Told her that last year has been hell for me and it's not her fault but to go on and live her life and that i would be okay and so would she.  I think these words for hard for her to hear but her words were equally hard for me when she told me she was involved with the blood sucker.  Anyways i feel free and i have till next week to deprogram myself.  I see my therapist on Thursday - thank God!