sabatoge

Yes I have been doubting my self a bit - okay last week a whole lot but along comes therapy when you think you don't really need it.  It's funny what you get used to when things are bad and then you pray for a change and actually get it - you don't think you deserve it or that they possibly made a mistake in hiring you!  It's crazy but this is what's been on my mind and i can't help it.  I've tried hard to keep up a good front but thank God i actually tell my therapist what's in my head.  My husband even said something to me the other day that let me know he was noticing - he knows me like no other!   Bottom line my therapist says i have entirely too much time on my hands at work - even though the extra time to prepare has been nice since we haven't opened yet but it is allowing my usual negative thought pattern to creep in. You know i can only prepare so much - i need to be busy!  The sooner we open the better off i will be b/c once i am with the residents - this is where i am most comfortable.  Today was better - we had a caregiver's day out and i did the adult day care and that was so fun to be back in it again.  I know i can do this and i am the right person.  And i miss having a routine - i need that!  Focus lisa - stay busy - help someone else in their office - do something other than listening to that voice in you head!  Wish there was a pill to make that voice to go away...