merry christmas to me

Well this year is certainly better that last year!  I made it, i am alive and so very thankful. There have been a lot of ups and downs but it's okay and i continue to be a work in process.  It's hard to imagine this time last year that i would feel this way...  but i made it!  I am content and so grateful for the blessing of inner peace that i have today.  Thank you also to my husband who has hung in there with me thru this journey...  i'm sure i will still have my ups and downs but it's good to have him by my side and he is always in my corner.  Thank you also to good friends who are the family i chose for myself.  And i cannot forget God to whom i pray to everyday and who has put skilled mental health professionals there to help put me back together along with his help. And thank you to me who is really okay and being 'broken again' does not define me!

still here and hanging on

Well i'm doing better than hanging on!  Work has been busy, different and that has been good. There is no drama and it is often uncomfortable no working in a place that doesn't have drama.   Had therapy today and we taked about the past year and why i am still upset over it - she says that i have experienced great trauma - in ways that i cannot fully mention here.  Therapy is that always is helpful - and of course i am still grieving the loss of sarah - i just can't get over her betrayal with the bloodsucker, apparently.  But i have made good progress - today i have blocked her from facebook along with the bloodsucker.  I am tired of seeing their happy faces on my page...   And i talked with the therapist about the email to my dad and him not responding...   She says what does that tell you?  and i said  guess that he can do nothing...  he has made his bed and i don't have to lay in it!  So that's where i'm at...  still here and hanging on...