right now

Well my morning has been a rush of emotions up & down! I woke up feeling great and the first negative thing I hear has affected me already and set the tone for my day. I tried to change my thought process and focus on something positive and fun... guess what? that failed too because I heard negativity again. I just can't win. This is how depression and anxiety works - and I am so good at it. I have had years of experience! I am proud of myself though I did not take my Xanax this morning and I won't until I really need it today. My doctor told me yesterday not to use it so much - I have only been on it a week and he's already telling me this?!?! I know the dangers but only a week? Come on a person can't be fixed in a week especially if this is a lifetime experience!