my gift to myself

Therapy has been the best gift I could ever give myself.  It was so hard to admit that I was in that dark place again.  My session today was interesting...  I told her all about me getting the bloodsucker off my unit and she was proud.  I told her that I don't understand why I still miss her and she said that it is normal to miss someone who made you feel so special and good.  I also asked her if the bloodsucker she knew what she was doing when she picked me to weave into her web.  The therapist says that people like that only think about getting what they need - not that it was necessarily about hurting the other person even thought that is what happens in the end.  They find someone's weakness - and I was ripe for the picking because I was in that dark place.  She said it could have been anyone - and it will be over and over again while she tries to get her needs met.  That made me feel better that she wasn't setting out to intentionally hurt me - it's just that she is sick and not capable of having real interpersonal relationships.  I feel sorry for her that she can't help it.  She did caution me that it was not my job to help her just because I feel sorry for her - and to continue to stay away!  And I will. So thank you God for letting me finally listen to you and realize that I needed help.  You gave courage I didn't know I had.  My mind is so tired tonight and I am going to get some rest now...