saturday with sarah

Well my friend came over and was honest with me today.  Turns out she and the bloodsucker are a 'couple'.  It had to have been hard for her to tell me - she went into all her feelings that she has had as a teenager, adult and married life.  I had know idea of course I didn't become friends with her till we met in her early 20's.  Wow, she has always been so reserved and never seemed happy until she and her husband adopted their baby.  And I guess I understand now why because she was hiding something or rather trying to push those  feelings away.  Her husband wants her to file for divorce immediately and that's fine with Sarah because she is 'done' anyway and she wants to be with women.  She says things haven't been right for years and he knows about 2 other women early on in their relationship before and after marriage- it was okay with him then but things have changed now because she has left him and the things she has heard about the bloodsucker from me, my husband and other folks who know how she can be.  I admire her honesty - she wanted to tell her parents and me herself.  Her husband is being difficult (understandably b/c his whole world is changing) about the whole thing wanted to spill the beans to us - but he allowed her time to tell us.  It doesn't bother me at all that she is a lesbian - what bothers me is that she has fallen for the bloodsucker.  She wanted me to to okay with it because she and I have been friends for a long time - I told her that I was not going to trash talk her and if she is making her happy then that was all I cared about.  She says that maybe she's a fool - she's keeping her guard up but that she is happy.  We agreed we didn't want this to affect our friendship.  I told her that I didn't feel I could just go get a beer with them just yet but maybe in the future with a big group of people b/c I could never trust this person.  She says she understands that and knows that this may just be a fleeting relationship but she is out now to everyone.  She knows the road ahead is going to be difficult and I am so glad I got her to see a therapist.  Maybe that's my reason for being here on earth - not 'to rescue' as my therapist says but just to give a gentle push in the right direction and just let go.

My husband is still worried and wants me to break this relationship with Sarah - says if I let this bloodsucker back into my life that 'we are done.'  What he doesn't understand is that I need my true friends now even if they are making what we think are bad decisions.  If I let 'her' back into my life - it won't matter about me and Tony b/c I will be done. That's how she works...