still here hobbling

I am still on crutches - I can bear much more weight now but not completely all the way yet.  I am still worried about my exercise (when/if i can run again and walk).  It is abundantly clear that I won't be doing the april 11th marathon I had planned to walk with my friend vickie - she's is gonna kill me. No not really but she will be disappointed because we were gonna do it together - that was the whole point.  I guess I have been over training a bit but when your mind is like mine you have to stay busy or you thoughts go to a bad place.  My husband even has noticed this he said last night that I just have been doing too much and this is my body's way of telling me to slow down.  How many signs do I need?  I guess I have to hurt myself in as many ways as possible to get the picture.  But it seems only temporary... and then I will start the whole process all over again.  I'm so afraid of gaining weight back that I have fought so hard to lose.  I know there are other ways to exercise - but this is what is in my mind right know and it's scares me. In other news...   I saw the 'bloodsucker' today and she of course asked about my crutches and that exchange was brief and non threatening.  My therapist appt was yesterday and she feels like I'm doing good but not ready to talk  to the 'bloodsucker' w/o feeling yet. She said soon I will be able to and I am so ready - but right know it still hurst to see her and she knows my weaknesses. My therapist  told  me (as she has before) the 'bloodsucker'  is someone like my mother who I thought I could be friend with and we see how well that turned out...