therapy day... finally

Due to my surgery I had to delay my therapy session 2 weeks- it's a miracle I have held it together so long! We talked about Sarah and how much I miss her and how I know she is headed in the wrong direction.  It has nothing to do with her sexual orientation - it has to do with who she has chosen - a known user and abuser.  I have to lay low and let things play out - just as if she was a child of mine.  If I protest too much she will just be that much more inclined to stay with this partner.  It has to do with the person she has chosen seeks out relationships with married women and will destroy them - its all a game to her.  And if they have kids that's even more of a thrill - like a bonus.  That was something I could not give the bloodsucker.  Thank God he intervened in time!

It was great session and it was about me forgiving myself.  I just can't seem to do it no matter how hard I try.  I know I will never move on or think I deserve any thing good in my life unless I allow it - but this is so hard. The quote she gave me today was:  'Forgiving is giving up on all hope of a better past'. I love that... this is so true I have to let go of what happened to me as a child and quit letting people take advantage of me because I feel that I deserve it!  I will get there eventually but it seems such a lofty goal right now.  I need to pray to forgive my self because I am may harshest critic...