well at least that's outta the way...

Yesterday we had an all day bachlelorette party:  salon, lunch and then pool party for my friend who is getting married in Florida.  And at the pool party was the 'the couple' Sarah and the...  well I can't hardly say it you know my former friend...   the 'blood sucker'.  I guess my heart has softened b/c it's hard for me to imagine that Sarah would be with someone like her so it's hard to call her that when talking about them together.  We did speak and she's calmed down and was not trying so hard to be the life of the party.  I remember she was like that before in her previous relationship - she was calm and secure. Then when they broke up she was just so heartbroken and just went wild - but she also needed her adderall (she had quit taken it).  I felt like Sarah & everyone else's eyes were on me to see how I would react.   But the first hello came quickly and it was over and I just stayed busy visiting with everyone else.  We spoke again throughout the night - uncomfortable but okay.  I was mentally exhausted thought from just the whole day and seeing them cuddle etc, and having to put on a good face.  But I know they really care about each other - I saw they way they looked in each others eyes. So I'm happy they are happy but I just don't care to spend that much time with them. It has nothing to do with them being women and everything to do with thy type of person Sarah has chosen.  But my friends say there is someone for everyone and maybe Sarah has changed her.  And for that I'm glad but doesn't mean I want to be exposed to that constantly b/c there will always be a sting for me that I think will never go away.  Thank God there was a lot of people to talk to to keep me busy.  I did email Sarah today and told her it was great to see her and I was glad she was happy - then added that I was happy for them both.  Sarah wrote back that she was really happy and appreciated me saying that.  So I felt like the bigger person - don't care if they noticed or not.  My friends rallied around me that night and told me how proud they were of me and that I kept my cool all night and look how far I've come.  I will keep praying for Sarah - her divorce is final Tuesday - and let go and let God.