forgiving myself

I am worried I won't be strong enough today. Today is the day that my 'friend' and I used to get together when I was still special to her. In fact just last Saturday we talked about it. But now that I question our friendship I don't know what the day will bring. Will she bring it up? Will I play dumb like I forgot our plans? Or will it simply fade like every other day did to her this week? I feel like such a fool for being sucked in her games. Please someone make me understand that I was just weak and vulnerable and it was normal for me to fall for her. I have been told that... but I just can't believe it myself. I need to forgive myself but I feel like I don't deserve it. Maybe with time and a little therapy. God please help me - if she does want to see me I'm afraid I will still be that fool and still be in the game!