I did it!

Yesterday I did it! I was strong and it felt good! I confronted someone and I am proud of myself. I told my 'friend' that the past few days she had pushed me out of her life, that I thought I was just a joke / game to her and how that me me feel like a fool. Of course I wouldn't have done it if she had not asked me if I was mad at her and that I didn't love her anymore - but does it really matter how it happened? We decided to meet later to discuss it further and yes I did have a xanax - I'm feeling better but I needed the help to clear my mind and it did it's job. You know I could have just lied and continued to hold the hurt inside but I chose to confront it - good for me I think. And she didn't get mad or hate me for it. She actually admitted that she had been backing away - but told me why and I now that I understand why she was I am okay with it. I just needed to know why and that it wasn't because I did something wrong. She did say that I am insecure and I am blaming her - I know I need to work my insecurities but I don't feel like I did anything wrong. She did apologize and I think we actually made some headway in our friendship - we'll see. My husband says to keep my guard up just in case. Maybe next time I will just confront someone on my own and not need them to ask me what is wrong or if I am mad. Today I am feeling good still - talked to an old friend today who has been very encouraging to me. And I plan on calling on another friend later today. I am trying and it feels okay...