home

I made it through the visit home today... I did have to take a xanax because I knew it would be hard and it helped. My dear mother in law recently passed away and it was so said to see where she died at home. My father in law is so lost without her. The house was so empty yet full of memories. She made me part of her family 20 years ago and I always felt loved by her - unconditionally. I'm taking it harder with my current state of mind but I can't help it. My husband took me to my grandma's grave site and it was comforting. I cried and I told her 'Here I am falling apart again and where are you?' - she's been gone 5 years but seems like yesterday that I could just call her up. She was my real mom and she also loved me unconditionally. She would have helped my through this like she had before. But I know I have to do this myself. Have I mentioned how tired I am? It is so exhausting to be this way.