friend??

My good feeling continued today throughout work - only this afternoon I got anxious / restless / nervous. Work was really busy and don't think I was to overwhelmed but maybe I was. I can't explain it. My heart felt racy and I just decided that I needed a xanax. I have not been taking them everyday since the Dr got on to me but you know I don't that it is a bad idea to take one if I really feel like I need one. Anyway what's on my mind tonight is about a friend of mine - at least its a friend on my part. I feel this friend pulling away. Maybe I am too crazy to be someone's friend right now. My behavior is kind of erratic and unpredictable lately. My husband says time will tell if this person is a true friend or not. I miss the attention I used to get from her. I hope maybe it's just me being my paranoid self because I have such trouble letting people get close to me. I'm very loyal once I decide to let someone in but if they hurt me - I can't take it and then I think it was a mistake letting someone in. Maybe it's like love - you don't know unless you try and if you don't try it can be a lonely place in the world...